Carl D. Hicks

Instructor Kelly Anthony

English 101

10 April 2014

What is a place

What is a place? And where do I want go? Where is it that I’ve been before that I just have to get back to? This for me is hard being I want to go everywhere at all times. The idea of places unseen with these eyes and smelled I haven’t smelled with this nose excites me. If I had to choose just one place with personal meaning to me, the closest thing I can think of to one place to me is “the beach”. There is one beach in particular that has special meaning being it was the most recent memories I have of my father.

I’m from Chicago Illinois, a place where silence is a sound all in its own. Where people and objects seem to buzz by at the speed of life and light. Colors, sounds, smells all intermingled with diversity of skin, culture and gender. Different heights, weight and social classes, some compasses made with morals others with murals. This jungle is dense with concrete structure and the only patches of grass exist in between each sectioned off maze of walk and alley ways. As a Child being raised in the city, the buzz of the constant noise of thousands of people moving at once all in different directions became the normal. Everyday seeing the stuff people report on the news or the theme behind the Sunday night specials via the corner store was life in the big city. The lullabies at night believe it or not were the songs of police sirens and the rhythm of gunshot noises. There was no sleep when it was too quiet outside, just never really happened. These things day after day, year after year you become jaded into thinking this way of life is life. That smog and over population of certain neighborhoods, segregation amongst socialization, and only aspiring to continue on in this fashion was all the norm.

This for me all changed one summer I was set to visit my father in Virginia beach VA Not only do I get to finally spend some real time with my dad, whom I’ve spent time with before, but I spent more time learning of his legend ,but I also get to see what these little eyes have only dreamed of before. I remember the smell of the chicken frying and the popcorn popping in the kitchen. The grease popping as she lightly flours the wings, the white powder hits the air, and about the same time the oil in the other pot is hot enough to drop in the popcorn kernels. I recall the old suit case coming down from the top of the closet, still dusty from the last time it was used. See we were getting ready for a road trip. The idea of driving from Chicago to Va as a child it just seemed so far. We didn’t have a thousand McDonalds and Wendy’s along the route back when, and in our social class you packed lunches and saved money accordingly. The only entertainment I remember having as a child was claiming which car we passed on the highway as ours. The bottles of beer song and annoying all the adults with the” are we there yet” question. As a child that question if posed at the right moment can get a wonderfully aggravated response that leads to muffled chuckles cause you know your sister is going to ask in t-minus 5 minutess. The songs of the seventies blaring out of the tape deck, all foreign to us cause those were moms jams. Songs that made her and my uncle groove as we punched each other for touching or getting too close in the back all while trying to remain quiet and still. Definitely didn’t want that hand that reaches back without looking and just a swinging hitting what and whoever all the while keeping that other hand on the wheel and face forward to drive. Minutes turn to hours and songs turn to sleep, the driving motion and seeing nothing but trees pass in the distance is somewhat hypnotizing to a child and sleep isn’t an option you choose, it chooses you. Awaking only to the oohs and ahhs as we get ready to drive through a tunnel under the ocean. Trying to remain calm while imaging a whale hitting the side of the tunnel of it flooding for some reason the ways I would, as the 9 yr old man of the family, get all my loved ones to safety with my super powers. The coming out on the other side, literally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel was the most magical.

Windows are down , the smell of the salt water hitting or nostrils for the first time, The sun felt like it rested on our shoulders, just beyond our reach it seemed. When all you see it tall buildings and shade, seeing the sun in all its orange and bright glory is amazing. We tried to get used to the humidity and heat all at the same time, it being our first time we didn’t know what to expect, and I’m sure my mom didn’t expect two half naked kids in her back seat either, but you learn to adjust on the fly. All the while the whispers of two little kids began to grow into questions like, what is this place? Did we go to another country? Everything was different from what we knew. There is something more than the city and the places we see on TV are real, very real and my dad lives here.

From that point on, something about putting your feet in the soft but gritty sand, smelling the scent of water heavily salted. The breeze that comes off the water ever so calmly, imagining how many other feet sank in the same spot. Looking into the ocean and as far as you can see is more ocean. Seagulls and other birds of the sea, swaying back and forth in the wind. Wondering what brave soul in history looked at that and thought to himself I will not be bound to this boundary because I know it’s something else out there. It gives me the sense of infinite options and opportunities. Goals and out comes, games and endings and that the world is really round, so there isn’t an edge that you can reach you cant overcome. Almost a metaphor of hope all in itself.

Not knowing at the time we would only have one more summer with my dad, being we got to have the last two together in such a wonderful place made it even more special for me. Makes the thought of this summer special as well, because I get to have that experience with my kids. The car ride, the snacks the songs and the most of all, the memories

Cheesie Goodness

The joy acends as the sun peeks beneath the blinds, dancing on the ceiling making its way across the room to the squints in my eyes. Today is the day I get to see the dazzling white smiles, and energetic tones of excited loves ones. Why excited you say? Today  the magnificent cousin/uncle Carl is making his famous cheesie Potatoes. Dinner went from the intimacy of 2 people enjoying a night of delicious bliss, to a gang of ravenous, but enjoyable family members who even though, add joy to my smile, they also add chaos to the kitchen. In preparation for said madness, getting an early start is the only way to subside the waves of hungry guest entering my sanctuary asking the ever so familiar question , is it done yet? So to save me from the natural sarcastic responses that seem to roll off my tongue tongue and them from looking at me with disgust as they hear maybe and insult wrapped in a smile, I chose to get started while it was just me and the kitchen. Getting ready to mix n match some harmony with bliss. As I grab the giant  baking  potatoes from the pantry, chosen specifically for their girth, so fresh loose earth is still falling from the spuds. After a nice rinse, I channel my inner sailor and peel those things like its my duty. A nice salute to my favorite chefs knife, the trusty sidekick who is always sharp and on point. I'm very familiar with the art of Ginsu so slicing and dicing becomes a rhythmic game of precision. Now to prepare these spuds for a nice hot bath in a pot of boiling water, very important to the process to soften and release some of the starch.  As the water churns and bubbles bubble we turn our attention to the pan that will be their final resting place before being devoured in a carnivorous bur happy way. Here we add the ness to the delicious.This dish isn't for the calorie squeamish, we use real butter, cannot be substituted with I cant believe its not or margarine. They didnt churn that stuff when this recipie was made so we mae sure to stick with it. The cheese is all on you, personally i use the velet of cheeses, velveeta. Creamy smooth silky like texture and it melts very well once you added the right amount of milk. The next and most important part is my secret, so moving on, once the potatoes have cooked for at least 10 to 15 minutes they are ready for the immaculate bed of cheese,milk, and secret ingredients awaiting their presence so effortlessly. Give it a good mix  like martial arts, less the board breaking, you have to make sure everything is blended so all the ingredients meld well together vulcan style. With the oven preheated to the coveted 350, you place them inside the oven until the very top layer of cheese begins to brown, and you here the bubbling of the cheese and the sizzling from the oven. As well as  the people arriving closing their eyes and envisioning the last time the taste of these wonderful spuds danced on their tongues. You can almost feel them tasting them as they lick their lips while effervescently looking for plates and silverware. Once out of the oven, if you aren't mangled by the stampede of people, placing mounds of cheeiness on their plate and some double mounds, even the lactose intolerants of the bunch, you see the chef crack a smile knowing satisfaction is in the air in the form of joy.

Where I want to be

Now this one here is kind of a tricky question for me, being where i truly wanna be isn't really a place technically. Where i want to be truly is more of a state of mind. Where i want to be is stress free, able to love fully and unconditionally. The normal worries are out the window, because i'm well off enough for my kids and their kids kids to  be guaranteed a good life. I want to be in perfect health and in harmony with God. I want to be the role model i need to live up to for my kids to grow and become a functional yet important part of society. I want to be in a place where the lines of color are erased and we see each other as the brothers and the sisters that we truly are. I want to be better. i want to be in a place where wants are no longer wants but on a waiting list to be either acquired or done. I want to be in a place where my family is at peace and can enjoy each other in the way we were meant to with out the rat race or the sheople mentality. I want to be in a place where all things become possible with faith stored from my belief. I want to be free of what society sees as the struggle. as real as the struggle is i'm tired and just wanna be free. Now there we go. Where  I want to be is truly FREE.

connections

well when it comes to hells n heaven's lol this week has been allot of heaven's for me.. been focusing on being happy and one by one all of the hells in my life have started to relieve them selves with out me trying too hard. The one thing i couldn't get away from was the weather of course lol whenever we have a snow day it always throws ever\ything off with work school and the kids. But as we all know the snow melts and life goes on . so here we are living it.. one thing that bothered me a lil was being somewhat unprepared for a quiz in my voice class on Thursday and just wanted that little extra time during the break to practice and low and behold as soon as class started she told me i was going last or most likely after the break. so the idea of going in front of the group ill prepared had me in hell but the heaven shone through as soon as the class started.. beyond that i think i may have met my match in laughter. A goofy young lady was introduced to me over the weekend and i have had a perma grin on my face ever since. compared to the crazy ex sending messages over the weekend before, the hell is on its way out to make room for the heaven that is waiting for me..all in all it makes since that you create your surroundings, all it takes sometimes is a positive thought or move in a positive direction for things to change or turn around.. So no more hell only accepting heaven from here on in.. to add to that one of the hardest things to do is realize that people sometimes carry ideas and attitudes with them around other people. sometimes its not your mood that needs to be changed but you need to change the people to enhance the mood.. more so than not has that one been ringing true lately. So keep your eyes open for the seasons we let stay in our life too long. Like this winter season lol

description

so i see a tall lanky- like woman whos totally fit and athletic. Confident and just as boisterous. a perfect mix between skinny and chubby. Dark hair and she looks sexy in her glasses, in a way they magnify her pretty eyes. To top it off she is very friendlly, observaant and if  she sees you down shes quick to act crazy or tell a funny story. to show what kind of heart she has she drives out to the country to play bball with parapalegics in the wheel chairs herself as well.

revision

so i see a tall lanky- like woman who is totally fit and athletic. Confident and just as boisterous. a perfect mix between skinny and chubby. Dark hair and she looks sexy in her glasses, in a way they magnify her pretty eyes. To top it off she is very friendly, observant and if she sees you down shes quick to act crazy or tell a funny story. to show what kind of heart she has she drives out to the country to play bball with paraplegics in the wheel chairs herself as well.






As  i enter the room, my eyes scan until they stop on a figure as tall as the door frame i just walked in under and her  Extremities were elongated, This female also donned the shape of a physical trainer, you could see her muscle tone through the dress. Her aura was evident from the way she held her head high and from  listening to her converse i came to find her to be bold and blunt at the same time. Perfection in its description, not thin like the runway models who starve themselves and equally not in the category of a plus sized model, if i were Goldi locks she would be just right. Easily approachable, very engaged in the conversation and tries to include everyone as well.  anyone showing some form of  sadness in her midst will be in for a treat. I've come to find that she makes up a  million skits in her head ready to play out at any time the mood seems to sullen. The most touching thing i heard throughout the evening was the humanitarian work she does for people unable to walk using their legs alone, specifically since her brother came home a  wounded war veteran

Faith in faith

 Well when it comes to me and my approach to life its pretty simple. Faith, my faith in God is so strong that I'm always ok if that makes sense? Not really worried about much, well at least the big things in life, food, shelter, love, work, income,  and happiness.. these things are all around when needed. I will admit, being human forces me to focus on the tirvial things in life sometimes, like bills, traffice, school,  and being on time.. etc. Then when you take a moment and find yourself in the moment constantly learning something or a lesson, or realizing that where you are now is based on a decision you made in life earlier. We all have choices, those choices lead to actions or reactions based on who is involved, but in every bit of that you are either learning something that is helpful to you now, later in life or something that will help another person. I've found that we as people either learn life lessons and continue to grow, or we dont learn and stay tuck in the same place wondering why? When you realize that even in the worse situations you can learn to overcome and prepare yourself for future calamity. We know it will happen one day, the question is how prepared are you for it?,brings us full circle to the faith. knowing that my past has lead me here and prepared me for life is a wonderful feeling. New things can be scary but having faith keeps you at ease

re: be cool to the pizza dude

i have to say beginning with the title of the essay i already started to smile.. lol being that i work part time at a pizza place here in town, always be cool to the delivery guy makes a lot of sense since these guys are my buddies, the people who go out and take our deliciousness to the world.. who brave the elements of Snow and ice and rain to the bring a pie into the lives of people who either need it or are to lazy to get up themselves,,lol the ones that feel the 2.00 charge is more than enough to kick back and not have to deal with eh madness of traffic on a Friday night, and can just get that guy that delivers to bring it.. as my experience as a customer, i always think if the conditions of the weather and the time it took to get to me. i was the number one customer for deliveries for 4 years before i started working at the place. i became so friendly with the staff and workers that i was invited to a birthday party, got rub elbows with the owner and the rest is history, I'm in my most favorite place to eat in town 4 nights a week, gaining weight and smiling cause its hard not to when you serve literally the best pizza in Town.. I'm  sitting here thinking like its hard to believe but this all started from being nice to eh delivery guy.. who would have thought, that tipping more when is raining compared to sunny, or when they make a late delivery just for you that it would have led me to knowing all persons involved pretty well at this point and me being able to personally share the deliciousness with my Friends, family and the Springfield community.. pretty damn cool, so yes. be cool to the pizza delivery guy. you never know where it could lead you or how many up sized pizzas you get or extras when they know your name...oh and side note.. be cool to the pizza server as well lol being that would be me

high shrieked screams

there is one main thing that can get a guy like me to literally jump 10 feet in the air with out question and that is anything that moves around on the ground with about 60 to 12 legs, i really don't discriminate at all... their cousins as well, you know the ones with the wings that fly some of everywhere when its nice outside... i guess now that i think about it, that is one of the best things about the winter time lol, they either all die or hibernate in the winter, which is good for me since i like to actually stay in the manly tone as much as i can on a daily basis. but whats funny really is every one around me that's close knows the deal. if me and you are in the same room and something moves and is alive and shouldn't be here you better get it. that is your main Job, cause I'm either going to run away, scream, or jump and in some instances all 3 at once lol.. there are only a few times where the fear subsides and the man in me takes over and that is if we are talking about one of my kids with me, the eldest and the youngest can handle their own with most things, and yest I've raised them so they know to when to runs scream jump or just get the shoe because daddy isn't going to do a damn thing lol. but my middle child is afraid of spiders the way i am of bugs in general, so ive learned to be a spider killing machine.. i have no fear of them until they reac a certain height and weight restricion that's somewhat gauged in y brain. otherwise its time to get a mommy in the room. and trust me there is no shame, i have no problems with screaming in the middle of a crowded shopping mall if something lands on me, or touches my foot or all of the above. kinda the story of my life, but now that i think about it, my fear may be a learned trait because my mother is the same way. let a bee come in the car window while either her or i are driving.. you better hope you are buckled up because if we cant duck low enough for said bee to get out of the car the next option is to get out our selves.. this does happen to work better though if the car is already stationary otherwise we have mastered the art of the tuck n roll cause its serious out there.. no matter where you turn its something buzzing chirping and moving along ina creepy way.. i guess that's why some are called creepy crawlers... just makes my skin itch thinking about some of these things.. open thing i can say is being here in Missouri has quited or calmed some of the oppression of fear down being I'm in love with camping now and that basically like going into their neighborhood and chilling out for the weekend... I've learned to respect most of the bugs in their home, then citronella the mess out of the rest, off deep wood spray, the belt clip fan, and anything else that may give me some relief of one attempting to touch me and my precious skin.

in love with camping

I feel like the story when you were younger about the city mouse and the country mouse, when the country mouse came to visit the city cousin showed all of the fancy things that they were able to do, while the country cousin was very content with just the simple things in life and the simple way of living. i never got the jist of the story until i became the country cousin myself. Moving from Chicago to Missouri was definitely a thing i needed to get used to pretty fast, life here is slooooow compared to the big city life. You get so used to the hustle n bustle yo forget about the things that matter the most. in coming here i had too find new hobbies of course to pass the time being that its sooo boring here lol well at least i thought until i had a chance to take my kids camping a couple of summers ago. we already mastered the art of floating and are very comfortable even with the youngest of the kids on the water. but now we decided to venture in to the great outdoors for the first time. i admit, just like my frst time floating, the idea sounded good on paer but didn't make allot of sense in my head. well that was all about to change, when we got there the family had already had the site set and picked, it was just up to us to pitch our tent. lol thank goodness for country folk.. i felt like the guy from new York city in the pace oicante sauce commercials, straight comedy. after they got there laughs in they decided to come over and help a brother out, so basically 3 minutes later the tent was up..lol. then we realized we had no signal, so no face book or text messages, just the sounds of the wind, bugs, and nature at its best. it took a few hours to adjust to the no noises coming from the phone.. heard the phantom ring a few times, then we started to settle in , enjoy where we were and the site itself. it was right next to a river so as it got hotter we jumped in more and more, the kids decided to fish and the adults did what adults fo in the woods i guess, drink beer, I'm learning that with enough beer here in Missouri everything is fun lol. but after a few of those nd scanning the site looking at the kids n cousins mingle all about, running around free of worry, the smell of a grill going for the burgers and dogs in the back ground. you realize this is where its at, making memories that will actually last in your mind and not on fb... you learn to accept that even though life may be a little slower but it has more depth and value.. like when you work for your fortune compared to being given. you can appreciate the first more than the second.

What if....

life never ended
we started off old and died young
the world was really flat
your hair grew into the cut you wanted automatically
fat was sexy
dogs got eaten by cats
love didn't hurt
kids really did know it all
parents did understand
kanye wasn't really Kim's baby daddy
the Superbowl was fixed
we all just got along
cars could fly
moses was still here
animals could talk
superman was real
comedy made you cry
i could dunk like lebron
your nose really got longer when you lied
your heart really had strings
we were indestructible
Bruce Willis didn't die hard
john McCain won




if the world was really flat, i wonder, hmmmm would people jump off the edge instead of building's lol or where would the water go you know cause the ocean is everywhere almost, it the planet had edges would it just be never ending water fall or would it all dry up eventually. how many people would have gone over the edge just to prove that the world was really flat... how would the map look or would the globe be like a map lol. Columbus would have been hung and the world would be completely different. like how would we view the other planets, would they be flat too? is space a bunch of pancakes just floating around with never ending waterfalls or ice glaciers or gases or whatever other planets are made of.. what would fish do? would they forever wim up stream like the salmon? id hate to be a crab or something that was slow near the edge, cause its good bye lil buddy.. when you think about it it makes you wonder what the people of the past were smoking, or not smoking cause it took some free thinkers to change how we all viewed the world at that ime. just imagining all the logos with like a plane circling the globe, what would they look like? and would it be called the " world" cause the word world just sounds very round you know.. everything would be crazy, just imagining clouds. like would they just float out into space? what about satellites, would they just stay in one spot nothing really to orbit if the world is flat, then i'm left wondering about the days n nights, like would we be like Alaska, all sun then all dark for months on end, would the sun be flat too? we tell the day from night cause we are rotating while the rotating around the sun at the same time. have you ever tried to rotate paper, not really what you call a rotation at all, so how would we function. i wish we had a time machine to talk to the ones who swore the world was flat and let them explaining these many things from their point of view cause it seems strange now to think of the world as flat. especially being taught from an early age it is round and this is why and so on. but now i do wonder lol, was Columbus scared, like he had a felling it was round but didn't really know, just jumped on the mayflower and went for it.




What if i were able to go back in time? hmmmmmmmm


if i were able to go back in time, ive actually thought about this question alot... and what ive come up with is, so far in my life the things that have occurred when they occurred has led me to be who i am, like if i changed one thing would i not have all3 of my kids? i mean life wasn't easy and in retrospect of course you would change some things around but i would want to alter this reality if that makes sense. what i would do though would be like go back and ask the astronauts of the challenger to stay at home sick that day, see if we could get japan to surrender without the a bomb, go back and want the people of new Orleans that something bug was coming. id be more like a time super hero truing to save people and thing or events, shut down new York city on 9/10 of that year... I'm not sure even if those changes though would effect this outcome as well. i think i watch too many movies.. like id mess with the fabric of time and the space time continuum would be forever altered lol. not sure what any of that means in the least but its valid.  now if i could guarantee my kids at least, then the one thing i would do for sure for sure for sure would be to go back in time and save my father. being a dad myself and seeing my son grow into adult hood was and is a major thing in my life and I'm sure seeing me become who i am would have been a wonder to him as well. don't wanna get to sentimental so ill stop there on that subject.. life is funny like that though cause you know if you change something its going to affect more that just you, the question would be how selfish are you and how would the change better you outcome or the outcome of the world. it can get pretty deep.

St. Louis

 Well when it comes to st Louis i used to hate  the place, but i admit i was judging the book by its cover. I had only been really to st Louis  passing through from Chicago or going to Chicago from here. so the idea i got about the city was only from the White castles i stopped at or the gas stations. but i have to say i was completely wrong about the place. i have a friend i went through hair school with who is from st Louis and got us accustomed to going uo there for different events like mardi gras and st Patrick day. when you go to a place or a city with a person who is from there you see a different side of the city. most of my life Ive heard horror stories about east st louis and the crime and such, but as of the last 4 years when we go out, after the club the after set is out there in east saint and we feel the most comfortable there. crazy.. then when you institute the love the people from there have for heir city and the sports clubs and so on. you realize youve been close to a proud majotr city for the last 10 years plus and didnt even batr a eye at it. being from chicahgo i guess has a way of making you snooty lol we have the bulls, deep dish pizza and da bears... but i admit the rams are getting to me starting to appreciate the love for a red bird and i love the night life for young adults in st louis. gets me my fix of the big city life with out having to drive 8 to 9 hours to do so. glad i actually had a chance to see it from a different light, especially since mardi gras is coming up again here ina coupl of weeks. one of the biggest outside celbrations i have ever been to in my life and im from chicago.

Fear

When it comes to fear, as a man you aren't supposed too have any.. well as a man I have a few lol. the first and main thing that drives me to high shrilled screams in the soprano octave would be any thing that crawls.. bugs bugs bugs I hate hate hate them... I was terrorized as a child by my aunt. whenever her mother or my grandmother would leave I would keep tabs on what she was doing so I could tell my grandma what was going on while she was away. being that I was like 4- 6 maybe at the max I didn't know Any better, is she asked I told. Well my aunt at the time was maybe 16 or 17 so being a tattle tell was a whole nother story in her world. so one day as i was playing ever so gracefully in my uncle room, my aunt ran in with a roach, she knew i didn't like bus, and opened my underwear and dropped the thing right in. talking about doing a dance lol. I was so afraid to open them up and get it out that I just ran around the house screaming for dear life until the only thing left of my new best friend, was his legs. true story. so being that that happened at  an early enough age, all the cousins and family around me took advantage of the situation for sure. whenever they wanted me to do anything, just threaten me with a bug. being a boy it kinda sucked cause all my friends didn't have a problem with picking up worms or bus or anything that was cool looking. I admit they look cool, from a distance, on a TV or under a microscope already dead!!!!!

Floating

Ok well it seems that floating has become my most favorite thing to do here in the Ozarks, coming from the Chicago, the idea of sitting in a canoe and just floating down a river seemed to be a crazy idea. the first thing that comes to mind is the native Americans and how they used the canoes and the rivers for more than just a sport or summer activity. it took allot of convincing for me to actually go on what they call a float trip. once on the board with the idea you hear different perspectives on how  to float or what you need to to take in order to have a good time while on the trip , but I still had no idea what to expect. The first float I went on was with a group of girls that went to the cosmetology school with me. upon getting in the water it looked really suspect that I , the only guy was sitting in the middle of two girls rowing while I has almost in a fetal position wondering why i ever agreed to get on  this boat in the first place. being a city boy I'm not used to the great outdoors for real. I don't like bugs so the dragonflies and things quickly became and issue. learning how not to tip the boat over being I had two other people to worry about as well. but after the initial shock wore off and maybe the 3rd or 4th beer. I began to calm down and actually take in the scenery for what it was.... Beautiful. no cell phones ringing, no TV noise no traffic just the noises mother nature makes and silence from the world.. I call it unplugging.. its really nice to get away from it all and see new things. then you start to enjoy the people rowing in the boats next to you, the conversation the stories the sun tan lotion..lol being black that was something i never thought I would need until after that day as well.. didn't know we could get sun burned I wont lie, but this i do know now.. I always come with extra as well cause that is a painful thing I would rather not endure again. while out there in the water you learn to master your balance that way again you and the lunch you brought, plus the ever valued beer is something you definitely don't wanna lose being there is no 7 elven anywhere near where the river is. so you get accustomed to that as well. after I would say about 5 years of floating now its totally evolved, now I'm the expert, i have all the things necessary for me and anybody else coming along to have a good float. the kids love to go now as much as I do. we all love to swim and to play in the water so we make it a family event once every two weeks or for me if I had the choice I would go eveyweekend without missing  beat. but it does give you a sense of how things once were in the past, I find my self just floating down the river wondering what it may have been like to hunt n trap up in down the iver. or what I really wonder is when we go floating we have somebody in a bus take to us to a drop off and then pick us up, what did they do back in that time frame? talking about a long hike..lol

1st reflection

     Well, I know Carl Jung To be a famous person in his own rights, but didn't expect him to be so spot on in assessing my personality from about 70 questions that seemed random until the end. Kind of threw me off for a minute in being that it was so spot on in not only how I see my self, but in listing my actual strong points, weaknesses and even things I really love to do. So naturally I started to look around and make sure I wasn't being punked by any body I know, cause this was almost freakishly accurate.   One thing that stood out for me was a line " ENFPs have what some call a silly switch. They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip the switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD" , that is so me!  So reflecting on that aspect was pretty cool,  reading how you are or how you may feel when its on point kind of warrants its own reflection. It also makes me aware of how in tune I may already be with understanding myself, since i felt this way naturally when i woke this am before taking the test. What I'm wondering after reading through this description, is how it will affect or help in my writing? I know how most of these attributes assist me in my daily life, but how will this personality transition into writing. Now I find myself reflecting again... After a few moments in thought, I'm not really sure the test in itself is going to help or assist me in writing this semester. But if i could find a way to get more of " me" into my writing then maybe understanding me a little bit more could actually help along the way. Now i am left wondering  what I'm learning about myself via these writings, and honestly not much I guess. When you know yourself you know, didn't happen over night but after a few good 30 plus years of living and a few of those raising kids, you learn yourself pretty fast. What I'm most interested in finding out is how others may view my writings, or what they can perceive of me based on the content of my writings or even my writing style. Yes I'd like to believe I have style in everything I do :-) I'm thinking that is what may drive me to either try and hone the skills I have or totally adapt new ideas, or whatever necessary to make improvements.

OK here we go with the first blog that Ive written, seems kind of crazy but lets give it a shot..lol. in class wondering why i missed Wednesday being that i now feel left behind a bit. I'm pretty sure i wont be missing too many more of these classes. that way i can stay on top of these assignments and chances i guess to get better at writing.. so what is the world really coming to , seems getting older keeps you out of touch with whats really going on. these kids all around me are just typing away like they've blogged their whole life so far, which cant be much of a life lived just yet.. I'm sure most of these kids are fresh out of high school. while i have a kid in high school, and the irony is its right down the street from my school. my how things have come 360. guess I'm in  a better place tro receive learned information mentally though so I'm glad to be here in this time and not right after high school, when i hated the structure and the way they uniformed the learning. either it wasn't challenging enough or it was too great of a task fore a kid at that time to accomplish some of the goals set. but here we are at 32 with a different mind frame ready to learn and work through some of the issues i may have had a child. to further pass those along to the three kids i have coming p behind me.remembering when i would have questions for my mom when in school she couldn't answer, but in the same time frame she was in college and i was answering her questions. crazy now that i look back on it, cause our kids do that for us no. answer the questions we may have in math or any other computer literate type of training. lol. not only do they say the darndest things but they do them as well. thankful for the tribe I call my own. from the eldest boy to the younger two girls. life  seems more complete at this point knowing I'm challenging myself for their feasibility probably not the word or i should say benefit. that I'm challenging my self for their benefit. that way as we all get older we all continue to grow. i guess i can say my mom set that example for me a long time ago. she never stopped going to school and learning new jobs, trades, or whatever she felt at the time would better her life for us. as a child you don't see the sacrifice made by your parents until you become one of your own and start to make the sacrifices yourself. life has a funny way of showing you what is and isn't. thankful to be aware of the signs available to me in this life.. specially since they are all around, we just have to open our eyes and become more aware