high shrieked screams

there is one main thing that can get a guy like me to literally jump 10 feet in the air with out question and that is anything that moves around on the ground with about 60 to 12 legs, i really don't discriminate at all... their cousins as well, you know the ones with the wings that fly some of everywhere when its nice outside... i guess now that i think about it, that is one of the best things about the winter time lol, they either all die or hibernate in the winter, which is good for me since i like to actually stay in the manly tone as much as i can on a daily basis. but whats funny really is every one around me that's close knows the deal. if me and you are in the same room and something moves and is alive and shouldn't be here you better get it. that is your main Job, cause I'm either going to run away, scream, or jump and in some instances all 3 at once lol.. there are only a few times where the fear subsides and the man in me takes over and that is if we are talking about one of my kids with me, the eldest and the youngest can handle their own with most things, and yest I've raised them so they know to when to runs scream jump or just get the shoe because daddy isn't going to do a damn thing lol. but my middle child is afraid of spiders the way i am of bugs in general, so ive learned to be a spider killing machine.. i have no fear of them until they reac a certain height and weight restricion that's somewhat gauged in y brain. otherwise its time to get a mommy in the room. and trust me there is no shame, i have no problems with screaming in the middle of a crowded shopping mall if something lands on me, or touches my foot or all of the above. kinda the story of my life, but now that i think about it, my fear may be a learned trait because my mother is the same way. let a bee come in the car window while either her or i are driving.. you better hope you are buckled up because if we cant duck low enough for said bee to get out of the car the next option is to get out our selves.. this does happen to work better though if the car is already stationary otherwise we have mastered the art of the tuck n roll cause its serious out there.. no matter where you turn its something buzzing chirping and moving along ina creepy way.. i guess that's why some are called creepy crawlers... just makes my skin itch thinking about some of these things.. open thing i can say is being here in Missouri has quited or calmed some of the oppression of fear down being I'm in love with camping now and that basically like going into their neighborhood and chilling out for the weekend... I've learned to respect most of the bugs in their home, then citronella the mess out of the rest, off deep wood spray, the belt clip fan, and anything else that may give me some relief of one attempting to touch me and my precious skin.

in love with camping

I feel like the story when you were younger about the city mouse and the country mouse, when the country mouse came to visit the city cousin showed all of the fancy things that they were able to do, while the country cousin was very content with just the simple things in life and the simple way of living. i never got the jist of the story until i became the country cousin myself. Moving from Chicago to Missouri was definitely a thing i needed to get used to pretty fast, life here is slooooow compared to the big city life. You get so used to the hustle n bustle yo forget about the things that matter the most. in coming here i had too find new hobbies of course to pass the time being that its sooo boring here lol well at least i thought until i had a chance to take my kids camping a couple of summers ago. we already mastered the art of floating and are very comfortable even with the youngest of the kids on the water. but now we decided to venture in to the great outdoors for the first time. i admit, just like my frst time floating, the idea sounded good on paer but didn't make allot of sense in my head. well that was all about to change, when we got there the family had already had the site set and picked, it was just up to us to pitch our tent. lol thank goodness for country folk.. i felt like the guy from new York city in the pace oicante sauce commercials, straight comedy. after they got there laughs in they decided to come over and help a brother out, so basically 3 minutes later the tent was up..lol. then we realized we had no signal, so no face book or text messages, just the sounds of the wind, bugs, and nature at its best. it took a few hours to adjust to the no noises coming from the phone.. heard the phantom ring a few times, then we started to settle in , enjoy where we were and the site itself. it was right next to a river so as it got hotter we jumped in more and more, the kids decided to fish and the adults did what adults fo in the woods i guess, drink beer, I'm learning that with enough beer here in Missouri everything is fun lol. but after a few of those nd scanning the site looking at the kids n cousins mingle all about, running around free of worry, the smell of a grill going for the burgers and dogs in the back ground. you realize this is where its at, making memories that will actually last in your mind and not on fb... you learn to accept that even though life may be a little slower but it has more depth and value.. like when you work for your fortune compared to being given. you can appreciate the first more than the second.

What if....

life never ended
we started off old and died young
the world was really flat
your hair grew into the cut you wanted automatically
fat was sexy
dogs got eaten by cats
love didn't hurt
kids really did know it all
parents did understand
kanye wasn't really Kim's baby daddy
the Superbowl was fixed
we all just got along
cars could fly
moses was still here
animals could talk
superman was real
comedy made you cry
i could dunk like lebron
your nose really got longer when you lied
your heart really had strings
we were indestructible
Bruce Willis didn't die hard
john McCain won




if the world was really flat, i wonder, hmmmm would people jump off the edge instead of building's lol or where would the water go you know cause the ocean is everywhere almost, it the planet had edges would it just be never ending water fall or would it all dry up eventually. how many people would have gone over the edge just to prove that the world was really flat... how would the map look or would the globe be like a map lol. Columbus would have been hung and the world would be completely different. like how would we view the other planets, would they be flat too? is space a bunch of pancakes just floating around with never ending waterfalls or ice glaciers or gases or whatever other planets are made of.. what would fish do? would they forever wim up stream like the salmon? id hate to be a crab or something that was slow near the edge, cause its good bye lil buddy.. when you think about it it makes you wonder what the people of the past were smoking, or not smoking cause it took some free thinkers to change how we all viewed the world at that ime. just imagining all the logos with like a plane circling the globe, what would they look like? and would it be called the " world" cause the word world just sounds very round you know.. everything would be crazy, just imagining clouds. like would they just float out into space? what about satellites, would they just stay in one spot nothing really to orbit if the world is flat, then i'm left wondering about the days n nights, like would we be like Alaska, all sun then all dark for months on end, would the sun be flat too? we tell the day from night cause we are rotating while the rotating around the sun at the same time. have you ever tried to rotate paper, not really what you call a rotation at all, so how would we function. i wish we had a time machine to talk to the ones who swore the world was flat and let them explaining these many things from their point of view cause it seems strange now to think of the world as flat. especially being taught from an early age it is round and this is why and so on. but now i do wonder lol, was Columbus scared, like he had a felling it was round but didn't really know, just jumped on the mayflower and went for it.




What if i were able to go back in time? hmmmmmmmm


if i were able to go back in time, ive actually thought about this question alot... and what ive come up with is, so far in my life the things that have occurred when they occurred has led me to be who i am, like if i changed one thing would i not have all3 of my kids? i mean life wasn't easy and in retrospect of course you would change some things around but i would want to alter this reality if that makes sense. what i would do though would be like go back and ask the astronauts of the challenger to stay at home sick that day, see if we could get japan to surrender without the a bomb, go back and want the people of new Orleans that something bug was coming. id be more like a time super hero truing to save people and thing or events, shut down new York city on 9/10 of that year... I'm not sure even if those changes though would effect this outcome as well. i think i watch too many movies.. like id mess with the fabric of time and the space time continuum would be forever altered lol. not sure what any of that means in the least but its valid.  now if i could guarantee my kids at least, then the one thing i would do for sure for sure for sure would be to go back in time and save my father. being a dad myself and seeing my son grow into adult hood was and is a major thing in my life and I'm sure seeing me become who i am would have been a wonder to him as well. don't wanna get to sentimental so ill stop there on that subject.. life is funny like that though cause you know if you change something its going to affect more that just you, the question would be how selfish are you and how would the change better you outcome or the outcome of the world. it can get pretty deep.

St. Louis

 Well when it comes to st Louis i used to hate  the place, but i admit i was judging the book by its cover. I had only been really to st Louis  passing through from Chicago or going to Chicago from here. so the idea i got about the city was only from the White castles i stopped at or the gas stations. but i have to say i was completely wrong about the place. i have a friend i went through hair school with who is from st Louis and got us accustomed to going uo there for different events like mardi gras and st Patrick day. when you go to a place or a city with a person who is from there you see a different side of the city. most of my life Ive heard horror stories about east st louis and the crime and such, but as of the last 4 years when we go out, after the club the after set is out there in east saint and we feel the most comfortable there. crazy.. then when you institute the love the people from there have for heir city and the sports clubs and so on. you realize youve been close to a proud majotr city for the last 10 years plus and didnt even batr a eye at it. being from chicahgo i guess has a way of making you snooty lol we have the bulls, deep dish pizza and da bears... but i admit the rams are getting to me starting to appreciate the love for a red bird and i love the night life for young adults in st louis. gets me my fix of the big city life with out having to drive 8 to 9 hours to do so. glad i actually had a chance to see it from a different light, especially since mardi gras is coming up again here ina coupl of weeks. one of the biggest outside celbrations i have ever been to in my life and im from chicago.

Fear

When it comes to fear, as a man you aren't supposed too have any.. well as a man I have a few lol. the first and main thing that drives me to high shrilled screams in the soprano octave would be any thing that crawls.. bugs bugs bugs I hate hate hate them... I was terrorized as a child by my aunt. whenever her mother or my grandmother would leave I would keep tabs on what she was doing so I could tell my grandma what was going on while she was away. being that I was like 4- 6 maybe at the max I didn't know Any better, is she asked I told. Well my aunt at the time was maybe 16 or 17 so being a tattle tell was a whole nother story in her world. so one day as i was playing ever so gracefully in my uncle room, my aunt ran in with a roach, she knew i didn't like bus, and opened my underwear and dropped the thing right in. talking about doing a dance lol. I was so afraid to open them up and get it out that I just ran around the house screaming for dear life until the only thing left of my new best friend, was his legs. true story. so being that that happened at  an early enough age, all the cousins and family around me took advantage of the situation for sure. whenever they wanted me to do anything, just threaten me with a bug. being a boy it kinda sucked cause all my friends didn't have a problem with picking up worms or bus or anything that was cool looking. I admit they look cool, from a distance, on a TV or under a microscope already dead!!!!!

Floating

Ok well it seems that floating has become my most favorite thing to do here in the Ozarks, coming from the Chicago, the idea of sitting in a canoe and just floating down a river seemed to be a crazy idea. the first thing that comes to mind is the native Americans and how they used the canoes and the rivers for more than just a sport or summer activity. it took allot of convincing for me to actually go on what they call a float trip. once on the board with the idea you hear different perspectives on how  to float or what you need to to take in order to have a good time while on the trip , but I still had no idea what to expect. The first float I went on was with a group of girls that went to the cosmetology school with me. upon getting in the water it looked really suspect that I , the only guy was sitting in the middle of two girls rowing while I has almost in a fetal position wondering why i ever agreed to get on  this boat in the first place. being a city boy I'm not used to the great outdoors for real. I don't like bugs so the dragonflies and things quickly became and issue. learning how not to tip the boat over being I had two other people to worry about as well. but after the initial shock wore off and maybe the 3rd or 4th beer. I began to calm down and actually take in the scenery for what it was.... Beautiful. no cell phones ringing, no TV noise no traffic just the noises mother nature makes and silence from the world.. I call it unplugging.. its really nice to get away from it all and see new things. then you start to enjoy the people rowing in the boats next to you, the conversation the stories the sun tan lotion..lol being black that was something i never thought I would need until after that day as well.. didn't know we could get sun burned I wont lie, but this i do know now.. I always come with extra as well cause that is a painful thing I would rather not endure again. while out there in the water you learn to master your balance that way again you and the lunch you brought, plus the ever valued beer is something you definitely don't wanna lose being there is no 7 elven anywhere near where the river is. so you get accustomed to that as well. after I would say about 5 years of floating now its totally evolved, now I'm the expert, i have all the things necessary for me and anybody else coming along to have a good float. the kids love to go now as much as I do. we all love to swim and to play in the water so we make it a family event once every two weeks or for me if I had the choice I would go eveyweekend without missing  beat. but it does give you a sense of how things once were in the past, I find my self just floating down the river wondering what it may have been like to hunt n trap up in down the iver. or what I really wonder is when we go floating we have somebody in a bus take to us to a drop off and then pick us up, what did they do back in that time frame? talking about a long hike..lol

1st reflection

     Well, I know Carl Jung To be a famous person in his own rights, but didn't expect him to be so spot on in assessing my personality from about 70 questions that seemed random until the end. Kind of threw me off for a minute in being that it was so spot on in not only how I see my self, but in listing my actual strong points, weaknesses and even things I really love to do. So naturally I started to look around and make sure I wasn't being punked by any body I know, cause this was almost freakishly accurate.   One thing that stood out for me was a line " ENFPs have what some call a silly switch. They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip the switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD" , that is so me!  So reflecting on that aspect was pretty cool,  reading how you are or how you may feel when its on point kind of warrants its own reflection. It also makes me aware of how in tune I may already be with understanding myself, since i felt this way naturally when i woke this am before taking the test. What I'm wondering after reading through this description, is how it will affect or help in my writing? I know how most of these attributes assist me in my daily life, but how will this personality transition into writing. Now I find myself reflecting again... After a few moments in thought, I'm not really sure the test in itself is going to help or assist me in writing this semester. But if i could find a way to get more of " me" into my writing then maybe understanding me a little bit more could actually help along the way. Now i am left wondering  what I'm learning about myself via these writings, and honestly not much I guess. When you know yourself you know, didn't happen over night but after a few good 30 plus years of living and a few of those raising kids, you learn yourself pretty fast. What I'm most interested in finding out is how others may view my writings, or what they can perceive of me based on the content of my writings or even my writing style. Yes I'd like to believe I have style in everything I do :-) I'm thinking that is what may drive me to either try and hone the skills I have or totally adapt new ideas, or whatever necessary to make improvements.

OK here we go with the first blog that Ive written, seems kind of crazy but lets give it a shot..lol. in class wondering why i missed Wednesday being that i now feel left behind a bit. I'm pretty sure i wont be missing too many more of these classes. that way i can stay on top of these assignments and chances i guess to get better at writing.. so what is the world really coming to , seems getting older keeps you out of touch with whats really going on. these kids all around me are just typing away like they've blogged their whole life so far, which cant be much of a life lived just yet.. I'm sure most of these kids are fresh out of high school. while i have a kid in high school, and the irony is its right down the street from my school. my how things have come 360. guess I'm in  a better place tro receive learned information mentally though so I'm glad to be here in this time and not right after high school, when i hated the structure and the way they uniformed the learning. either it wasn't challenging enough or it was too great of a task fore a kid at that time to accomplish some of the goals set. but here we are at 32 with a different mind frame ready to learn and work through some of the issues i may have had a child. to further pass those along to the three kids i have coming p behind me.remembering when i would have questions for my mom when in school she couldn't answer, but in the same time frame she was in college and i was answering her questions. crazy now that i look back on it, cause our kids do that for us no. answer the questions we may have in math or any other computer literate type of training. lol. not only do they say the darndest things but they do them as well. thankful for the tribe I call my own. from the eldest boy to the younger two girls. life  seems more complete at this point knowing I'm challenging myself for their feasibility probably not the word or i should say benefit. that I'm challenging my self for their benefit. that way as we all get older we all continue to grow. i guess i can say my mom set that example for me a long time ago. she never stopped going to school and learning new jobs, trades, or whatever she felt at the time would better her life for us. as a child you don't see the sacrifice made by your parents until you become one of your own and start to make the sacrifices yourself. life has a funny way of showing you what is and isn't. thankful to be aware of the signs available to me in this life.. specially since they are all around, we just have to open our eyes and become more aware